live and let
sometimes, i think, you just lose all track of time and tenets. you forget all the things that you were hoping to do and all the people you were hoping to meet. you end up living without all the big things that you wanted for yourself and, somehow, you got through the months and years on the little things that you've been too busy to pay attention to.
and it's not a question of whether you're happy, or a question of whether you're wasting your life. at least not the important question. because with enough time you end up asking the important questions, and realizing that all the planning and hoping and dreaming and wishing and wanting and wasting and whiling away hours only amounts to a big chunk of time spent living in your head. all the time wishing that you could forgive the hurts, forgive love, forgive god, and be forgiven all the same.
i may spend too much time being happy with increments. i may spend too much time having dinners and laughing and just swimming in bliss to realize that there's something else that i should be doing instead. that maybe laying in bed for that extra hour next to warm skin is actually stupidly wasteful, that i should be out selling my company or doing volunteer work or reading that book on QFT that i still haven't finished for 6+ years now.
i may be too flippant with how i want to live my life. it's not like i don't plan to marry, it's not like i don't plan to have kids. so why aren't i saving my money, so why aren't i making sure that all the things i want for my family will definitely happen. i may be living out the dream in my head in one hour segments, living with complete disregard for future and past. just embracing every touch and taste i've waited so very long to enjoy.
but no matter whether your life is perfect or in shambles there's a few things that have to be put away before you can move on to tomorrow. because there have been so many people that have hurt you and so many people that have loved you and so many people that could have been so much more. there are so many places that you want to see and so many sights that you want to find. but the world is too big, and people are too human. so it's important when you get a chance to come to grips with that, to see the tapestry and enjoy what sections you can before the sun sets and you're left with darkness.
and it's nice when you get to take a breath, close your eyes, and wait out the night because, for the most part, all has been forgiven.
and it's not a question of whether you're happy, or a question of whether you're wasting your life. at least not the important question. because with enough time you end up asking the important questions, and realizing that all the planning and hoping and dreaming and wishing and wanting and wasting and whiling away hours only amounts to a big chunk of time spent living in your head. all the time wishing that you could forgive the hurts, forgive love, forgive god, and be forgiven all the same.
i may spend too much time being happy with increments. i may spend too much time having dinners and laughing and just swimming in bliss to realize that there's something else that i should be doing instead. that maybe laying in bed for that extra hour next to warm skin is actually stupidly wasteful, that i should be out selling my company or doing volunteer work or reading that book on QFT that i still haven't finished for 6+ years now.
i may be too flippant with how i want to live my life. it's not like i don't plan to marry, it's not like i don't plan to have kids. so why aren't i saving my money, so why aren't i making sure that all the things i want for my family will definitely happen. i may be living out the dream in my head in one hour segments, living with complete disregard for future and past. just embracing every touch and taste i've waited so very long to enjoy.
but no matter whether your life is perfect or in shambles there's a few things that have to be put away before you can move on to tomorrow. because there have been so many people that have hurt you and so many people that have loved you and so many people that could have been so much more. there are so many places that you want to see and so many sights that you want to find. but the world is too big, and people are too human. so it's important when you get a chance to come to grips with that, to see the tapestry and enjoy what sections you can before the sun sets and you're left with darkness.
and it's nice when you get to take a breath, close your eyes, and wait out the night because, for the most part, all has been forgiven.
posted by vikas at 8:44 PM
1 Comments:
how can you swim in bliss if you can't even swim in water?
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