the wall will always end, no matter how high you want to climb it
so i'm at work, right?
sitting here at work, right? so i'm here, at work, sitting here at work, and i decide to check on the boxes. the equipment. the film equipment, in boxes. coming via UPS. three boxes came yesterday, 11 more yesterday.
11 boxes, very expensive boxes. 11 boxes, all left outside, all huddling on a lawn on the verge of rain overhead. 11 boxes, all full of film equipment, left on the lawn, the delivery confirmation FORGED BY THE DELIVERY GUY in his effort to just not come back the next day.
11 boxes and a forged signature. what can i say about UPS? nothing, it seems. nothing at all. because all the angry phone calls, all the waiting and the managers and the peons and the back and forth and back and forth and back again...the end result? there is no end result.
work has been full days. full days and full nights and full full full. for two days at least. come on, stay and stay and stay and leave and sleep. and come back.
roomie and self went out for sushi, good and good and good. the nights are coming along, the days are full and taut. i'm feeling good. the movie is soon to come and i have to set up things. but i come home and feel so relaxed and at home.
i sing songs.
i finally feel like i'm on the verge of making or breaking myself. living on the edge of a cliff where i fall over or drive all the way back to some place i've never known. i feel like there's undiscovered territory at every junction.
all while working 50 hour weeks. all while planning new years parties and buying film equipment.
what's weird is how i feel weird talking about it. shy, i guess. when people ask me "what's the movie about" or "what's your company do?" i tend to start shrieking internally. it's unnoticable until ten minutes later, clammy hands and cold sweats. wiping my brow and all that jazz.
and the company now has a new name.
i finally feel like i'm in a modicum of control. and now all i need to do is just find a gym. i'm learning new things at work: legacy stuff, coding stuff, analysis stuff. inter-employee-sorta-kinda-stuff. and so on. i'm finally coming to grips with the things i didn't want to think about.
but see, i need to write shorts. something short, horror or scifi or even a western. something, anything, just a short to shoot.
learning that things don't turn out the way you want, but i'm prepared for that. so maybe i'm not learning it at all.
but most of all, i smile ever time a christmas song starts up.
sitting here at work, right? so i'm here, at work, sitting here at work, and i decide to check on the boxes. the equipment. the film equipment, in boxes. coming via UPS. three boxes came yesterday, 11 more yesterday.
11 boxes, very expensive boxes. 11 boxes, all left outside, all huddling on a lawn on the verge of rain overhead. 11 boxes, all full of film equipment, left on the lawn, the delivery confirmation FORGED BY THE DELIVERY GUY in his effort to just not come back the next day.
11 boxes and a forged signature. what can i say about UPS? nothing, it seems. nothing at all. because all the angry phone calls, all the waiting and the managers and the peons and the back and forth and back and forth and back again...the end result? there is no end result.
work has been full days. full days and full nights and full full full. for two days at least. come on, stay and stay and stay and leave and sleep. and come back.
roomie and self went out for sushi, good and good and good. the nights are coming along, the days are full and taut. i'm feeling good. the movie is soon to come and i have to set up things. but i come home and feel so relaxed and at home.
i sing songs.
i finally feel like i'm on the verge of making or breaking myself. living on the edge of a cliff where i fall over or drive all the way back to some place i've never known. i feel like there's undiscovered territory at every junction.
all while working 50 hour weeks. all while planning new years parties and buying film equipment.
what's weird is how i feel weird talking about it. shy, i guess. when people ask me "what's the movie about" or "what's your company do?" i tend to start shrieking internally. it's unnoticable until ten minutes later, clammy hands and cold sweats. wiping my brow and all that jazz.
and the company now has a new name.
i finally feel like i'm in a modicum of control. and now all i need to do is just find a gym. i'm learning new things at work: legacy stuff, coding stuff, analysis stuff. inter-employee-sorta-kinda-stuff. and so on. i'm finally coming to grips with the things i didn't want to think about.
but see, i need to write shorts. something short, horror or scifi or even a western. something, anything, just a short to shoot.
learning that things don't turn out the way you want, but i'm prepared for that. so maybe i'm not learning it at all.
but most of all, i smile ever time a christmas song starts up.
posted by Mister Vikas at 12:41 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home