it's my party
why, in the name of everything everything everything everything everything everything in the universe and past present future, in all discovered and undiscovered dimensions, does it never get easier?
why is the mind never secondary, why is it never something to just float over and scan? why is it never just...under control???
why am i always the different one, why am i always the charming, witty, engaging, funny, cute and entertaining freak? why am i always the step away, why am i always watching everybody laugh and everyone in love and everyone enjoying and everyone in ecstasy and causing all of it but never really part of it.
why do i get a fleeting glimpse of feeling like a part of something. why do i only get some minute chance to feel every part of me just shake with knowledge that i've been invested in something, part of something, holding real emotional stakes? why does that happen so rarely that i get so confused and unsure when it comes around?
i'm a slinky. retro and childlike. i've been through it all, i was a joy to children and a nostalgic memory for adults, a comfort present and past. i was the affordable friend, the distraction and the entertainment, and every time you think of me you remember something good.
thing is, nobody plays with a slinky for long. thing is nobody goes out of their way to find a slinky. thing is nobody ever cares about one until it's sitting there, then they need it deeply for those few few minutes of worth...then back to the shrouds of yesterday.
why get angry? why get obsessive and pensive and analytical? why think about things that don't deserve your time, why think about things that signify nothing?
a slinky is only valuable with potential, with a difference in height between the ends. when front and back, past and future, allow for a path. lateral movement does nothing, motility is in the gradient. the potential, the difference in height. because you start where you are, but end up someplace else.
i might have to miss seeing alumni. might not make it out. might not catch a break, might not realize i've caught one. might not might not might not might not might not go so long again without seeing the sun.
it's nice outside. it's always nice outside. you just have to stop for a second and realize it.
why is the mind never secondary, why is it never something to just float over and scan? why is it never just...under control???
why am i always the different one, why am i always the charming, witty, engaging, funny, cute and entertaining freak? why am i always the step away, why am i always watching everybody laugh and everyone in love and everyone enjoying and everyone in ecstasy and causing all of it but never really part of it.
why do i get a fleeting glimpse of feeling like a part of something. why do i only get some minute chance to feel every part of me just shake with knowledge that i've been invested in something, part of something, holding real emotional stakes? why does that happen so rarely that i get so confused and unsure when it comes around?
i'm a slinky. retro and childlike. i've been through it all, i was a joy to children and a nostalgic memory for adults, a comfort present and past. i was the affordable friend, the distraction and the entertainment, and every time you think of me you remember something good.
thing is, nobody plays with a slinky for long. thing is nobody goes out of their way to find a slinky. thing is nobody ever cares about one until it's sitting there, then they need it deeply for those few few minutes of worth...then back to the shrouds of yesterday.
why get angry? why get obsessive and pensive and analytical? why think about things that don't deserve your time, why think about things that signify nothing?
a slinky is only valuable with potential, with a difference in height between the ends. when front and back, past and future, allow for a path. lateral movement does nothing, motility is in the gradient. the potential, the difference in height. because you start where you are, but end up someplace else.
i might have to miss seeing alumni. might not make it out. might not catch a break, might not realize i've caught one. might not might not might not might not might not go so long again without seeing the sun.
it's nice outside. it's always nice outside. you just have to stop for a second and realize it.
posted by Mister Vikas at 7:18 PM
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