if i had a dime for every muted soul

in case you were wondering? Eerie Indiana is just as good as you remember. same goes for Gargoyles. possibly Moonlighting; more on that later.

a lesson for the day will have been that twins can be inherently creepy. having any two people acting the exact same would be creepy, but having them look exactly the same as well seems like a good visual trick to remember if you need to write creepy characters. no offense, doublemint. plus the best part about Eerie Indiana is the low-key, but childishly disturbing, theme song.

The Critic? Yep, just as good.

i'm staying up all night. care to keep me company? keep me company, keep me company. go on, keep it. Hold on, hold on, keep me and throw in the company. i can still hear the words ringing in my ears. they make me close my eyes and grin at them. keep me company. memories on memories on top of plans for insomniatic warfare. but who am i at war with? are they dangerous? do they frown on ending sentences with prepositions? man, i really hope that joke was obvious, otherwise i can't have much hope for mankind.

i haven't built something in a long time. my last sculpture was a few years back, back in college. my last electronic gadget was probably even further. first and second year were spent custom-making sunglasses, times after that were building/breaking/pulling apart computers. i was involved with a tesla coil project senior year, but that didn't pan out.

do little papercrafts count as building? cutting gift cards and wrangling them in ribbon? if it does then i'm only a few months out.

and i haven't finished my iced tea from earlier today. no, madame, i'm afraid i cannot imbibe another sip; rather i thirst for warmer climes and a chance to understand more than is fashionable these days. actually scratch the warmer climes, just answer a few questions and i'll get out of your hair.

the last time i decided to stay up all night like this i finished a letter. and finished all but one more finishing of a letter. not that i haven't stayed up all night since then; rather, this feeling, right now, the need to stay up and the want and the pointless ease of it. waiting out the night and needing to write and hoping that i could let it all out and not get burned in the process. you'll be relieved to know that last time i did let it all out. let's not talk about the burning part.

oh to sing a song. i'd sing right now but the household sleeps. i'd sing right now but right this second it only reminds me of all the people who wouldn't sing with me if i weren't alone. haha, damn if it isn't a long list of muted souls. usually you can drown that out and say it's from fear, from not wanting to be embarrassed or being mocked or something of the like. but sometimes you can't say that. because you know the person and can't just slough them off and feel better than them so easily. those are the tricky wickets. (yeah and i know how to really say it so back off me, limey. honestly.)

there are four computers in this room right now. two laptops, a slim-profile desktop, and my dualie. oh my dualie. i haven't treated it very well, i'm afraid. i haven't even used it as storage; not enough cable to route it up oldschool. but unlike some things in life i can definitely say that it will be put to use again. i don't let things die, that i still care about.

that's it, i'm getting perscription shades. i never wanted contacts before, why do i want them now? i was reminded recently (recently being over the course of the last calendar year) that i have a decidedly different visual appeal with glasses. let's roll with it some more, shall we? plus my insurance is only good for another pair of glasses so might as well get 'em and like 'em.

there are other blogs i want to read. but i'm not going to, i won't i won't i won't. i won't. i will not. no. no. i have enough willpower to beat the band, i can sure as all get out handle this. maybe one day somebody'll say i have gumption. man would that be sweet.

forget it. i want to dedicate a song that's been sung enough to be worth dedicating.


WHOA!...Why do you fill me up
-fill me up-
butter cup, baby
just to let me down?
-let me down-
and mess me around?

and worst of all,
-worst of all-
you never call, baby
when you say you will
but i love you still.

i need you
-i need you-
more than any one, darlin'

you
know
i've
been
here
from
the
staaarrrt

so build me up
-build me up-
butter cup




...don't break my heaaarrrt.